The entire time I read Children of Immigration, I thought of
my mother and all the experiences she had growing up as the oldest child Italian parents who had immigrated to Massachusetts. As a little girl, around 5 years old, my
mother was the one who spoke in public, not my grandmother. By the time my mother was born, my
grandmother had learned English, but was too embarrassed by her accent to speak
in public places. My mother was also a
teacher of American culture for my grandparents. She explained everything to them that was
questioned. Simple things like brownies,
lilacs, and pot roast were not around in Italy and completely unknown to her parents. I can see hints of ethnic
flight in the way my mother talks about growing up. To this day, she still hates tomato sauce and
believes that she hates it because it reminds her of her home. As a teenager my mother was much happier away from home
and would leave as often as she could. When
I was a kid, I did not have half of the responsibilities that my mother
had. She doesn't think it's right that
as a child, she had to be a teacher to her parents. She constantly had to answer their questions,
speak in place of my grandmother, and find her own way in American culture. There wasn't really anyone around to be a teacher for her.
I'm glad you brought up your mother's experiences. I have wondered if there is resentment from the child who has to take on a role such as she did. I can see how it would be tiresome having to explain common place and mundane things to someone. May I ask did your grandmother acclimate once your mother became an adult herself and wasn't around as much?
ReplyDeleteThis was definitely interesting to read Rebecca. I think a lot of children in her situation can sometimes feel resent for their parents. The book certainly hinted at it, but fortunately for your mom she had strong enough ties to her family to at least not run off and join gangs or get into trouble like some can. She went the other route. I read a book last semester called Kiffe, Kiffe Tomorrow and in it the girl struggles with having to provide for her mother as well. It is obviously a common occurrence that adds to the stress of an already difficult situation.
ReplyDeleteRebecca, I think your post relates to how the immigrant experience is usually not an isolated experience. Members of immigrant families rely on each other, which can often be a burden, to situate themselves within a new culture rather than doing so independently. I can understand why your mother would be frustrated. Also, I find it interesting that in many immigrant families, the roles reverse when members encounter the dominant culture. The parents, as in your mother's experience, become dependent on their children. I think this has to do with their different acculturation processes, which are discussed in the book. For example, Suarez-Orozco state, "Immigrant children typically come into contact with American culture sooner and, indeed more intensely, than their parents do" (p.73). Because immigrant children could be considered more "literate" within the dominant culture, they become the cultural provider for their parents, helping them communicate.
ReplyDeleteI think this was such a cool post to relate real life experience to the reading. I also think it is so important that we realize how "immigrant" does not mean Indian or Latino or Asian, but Europeans too. We so often forget that those who come to America from European countries can find our culture just as foreign and just as difficult to adjust to.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how difficult it was for your mother to adjust to life as a child and a teenager in American society even in the simplest of ways, especially with the pressure of having to help her parents adjust as well.
My mother can totally relate to something like this, except the other way around. My mother spoke only French when she was little and my grandmother had to interpret for her. I agree with Kelly. A lot of people have a negative connotation to the word immigrant and thinks that it is solely people from south of the border of the U.S. Completely not true! I mean, where did most of our families come from if not from South America, Asia, etc.? Europe!
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